Gigai in Gense
by SuppaOtaku
Summary: Szayel sends our favorite Espada to Gense. To help him with his research. Ulqiuorra is curios too and asks Grimmjow what he knows. Grimmjow teaches Ulquiorra all he knows about Ningen, but his knowledge isn't something we would say is completely true. R&R
1. Szayel Made It Happen

_**A/N:** For all you GrimmUlqiu fans out thair. I hav DIS! I was inspired by a story I came across, but I can't remember the name._

_**Title:**__ Gigai in Gense_

_**Rating**: Click back and read._

_**Summary:** Click back and read._

_**Pairing(s):** Nothing really, maybe a little friendship bonding._

_**Warnings:** Nothing this time...That's weird. BUT there is Grimmjow and me with some potty-mouth. I'll be using words we all know, fuck, shit, bitch, hell, pussy, bloody and my personal favorite I use for almost everything: Dick. Seriously I think it's the best word ever, dickface, dickhole, dicksandwich._

_Don't judge meh! I'm not childish mkay! (Hehe, dick...OAO)_

"I don't own bleach." Talking

_I honestly don't._ Thinking/Flashback

**"****What would make you think I do ?"** Stressed words

_It's like a married my best friend, but in a totally manly way! LET'S GO! :D_

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><p><em>Prologue <em>

Months, it's been long months since he started the research on these organisms they call: _Ningen._

Their appearances were not so different from arrancars, but then again they were arrancars, they were not human. Szayel Aporro Granz had to admit he was interested in these human. Their emotions were the most interesting to say the least, he learned that emotions would determine how they would act to certain situations or how people would act towards them.

The one they call; love was an extraordinary one..

Love was probably the one emotion that kept Onna going without collapsing from the stress. He could tell it was too much for her to life around these circumstances. So love was everything she could rely on, it seemed to keep her from caving in. Love for that human boy, Kurosaki Ichigo. The hope she had for him to come and safe her. She didn't just love him like a friend, but it was her love interest, so Szayel had learned there were different stages of love.

Onna, she was probably the most important part of his research, since there were no other human in Las Noches. Granz concluded female Ningen showed the most emotion. Since the girl was flowing water out of her tearducts everyday.

'_Can this emotion called 'love' keep one as strong-willed as she is?'_

This very question stimulated his senses, it triggered his need to know more about human. So he studied the Onna, Inoue. The way she acted towards different individuals was interesting. She had a mixture of what Ningen call; fear and worry on her face on a daily basis, but she tried to hide her emotions while confronting Quarto.

They were interesting indeed. _Ningen._

The Espada had also copied a sample of Inoue's DNA, creating a so called 'faux body' he had adjusted for arrancars to wear.

He spent weeks trying to create a perfect one. Though he failed countless times, one time it would be unable to walk inside it. The other time there would be a problem with the resemblance to what humans would look like. But he succeeded at last, and at the end Octava was pleased with his creations. Orihime even helped him, by telling him what would be considered strange in human eyes. As Octava Espada in the Arrancar army, he was used to seeing the craziest shit, and that would be considered normal in Hueco Mundo.

Hollows eating each other, people stabbing each other with a flat hand, people with see-trough holes in their bodies and tattooed numbers on the weirdest places you could imagine. But in the human world...I doubt it.

He reported to Aizen-sama he knew how to make these gigai. He noticed Aizen was interested in this, and so Sosuke told him to make gigai for the Espada. So he started making these faux bodies for his fellow Espada as commissioned by Aizen.

_Why?_ He didn't know why, he just did what was said.

As some sort of sign of gratitude for making ten gigai on such a short notice, he allowed Szayel to go to Gense. To further and end this research Aporro had been doing. He was planning on completing his research by bringing in human products. And since most.. no, _all_ of his fracción were what human would call 'retarded' he had to resort to asking his fellow Espada to help him complete this little task he gave himself, since he already completed their faux bodies.

And whom would be a better comical duo to send but our favorite Espada, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra? That's right.._no-fucking-body._

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><p><em><strong>AN:** I'm not a huge GrimmUlqui fan, actually I'm not a fan at all. But I do love me some Grimmjow. And I think it would be funny to send them to Gense to find stuff for Szayel._

_I came up with this out of the blue, I think it will have like 3 chapters._


	2. It's Perfect

_**A/N:** This takes place in Winter time, since it's almost Christmas. And it's mid-winter in my country :D, fucked up right?_

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><p><em>Stuck with an idiot<em>

"Explain to me why I'm here 'gain?"

Szayel sighed as Sexta was studying his faux body. How many times did it have to be explained? "I figured that you two were perfect for this mission, since the rest of our Espada aren't quit..." he tried to find the way to describe it, but couldn't find the words. And since Grimmjow would just keep asking what he was _actually _meaning. He decided to use the blunt version,

"Primera is too lazy, Segunda is too old, Tres simply doesn't want to, Quinto doesn't like his faux body, Septima and Noveno..." he didn't finish his sentence when it was about either Aaronierro or Zommari. Without saying it, Sexta knew what he meant. Those two were weird, and considering the things they saw everyday. Their concept of weird would meant just plain fucking insane to us.

"Okay, speakin' of Espada. Where's that lil' bitch."

"I'm right here." the shorter Espada walked over to Szayel, whom handed him over the gigai. "You should not talk about someone when they are not in the same room." he said nonchalantly,as if he hadn't been insulted seconds ago.

Grimmjow huffed, "Whatever, I jus' wanna finish this fucken' thing as fast as possible." he examined his gigai once more,"There's not that much to do there when ya can't beat the shit outta someone..or something." he noticed the part of his hollow mask was missing on the faux body and that the blue Panthera marks under the eyes were missing.

"I don't think that entirely true, it might be an interesting place." Szayel defended. Why would he start the research if he thought it would be as boring as Sexta described?

"Then why don' you just go?"

Szayel adjusted his glasses, "Because I have to complete some other things here." Grimmjow disbelieved, but who cared it couldn't be helped. He had to go to Gense anyway.

Ulquiorra studied his gigai silently, it wasn't that bad."May I ask why our faux bodies are so different from our actual appearances?"

Granz smiled as he explained, "Well, the Onna we have here told me that the way we appear as now is too outstanding."

"When do we leave?" Grimmjow piped in. Octava nodded, "You leave today." He pushed an uniform into his hands, Ulquiorra received one as well. The neatly folded grey uniform seemed to be a take on human clothes as Onna described them to be.

The blue-haired Espada unfolded them swiftly with curiosity, "The fuck is this? Looks like something fuckin' prisoner would wear."

Octava spent _way_ to long trying to make them, and not to be scolded by Grimmjow. He gritted his teeth as Sexta continued to rant about how he would rather wear his own clothes instead of these 'cheap pieces of shit'.

Cuartro was getting agitated too obviously, "You can't wear your own clothes in Gense Grimmjow, which is only logical. Szayel-Aporro already explained that it would be too outstanding for us to wear."

He admitted defeat silently and cursed under his breath, "'Kay, how 'bout this," he started, despising the fact that Granz wasn't interested in his suggestion, but they were the ones whom had to go to Gense for him, so he'd better listen in. "We get human clothes in Gense."

Szayel widened his eyes, "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant." Octava praised the idea. "Not only would you fit in better this way, but if you ring me Ningen clothes I can further my research."

_For a incredibly thick-headed oaf he had a good idea just now._

"Excuse me, don't we need some kind of currency? I understood from Onna that Ningen use money to get what they want from so called 'stores' in Gense." Ulquiorra asked. It was fucking good question too, now Aporro was slightly confused.

"I didn't think of that." he admitted. "I think that might be a problem," he started to think nothing came to mind. "Don't worry, I'll come up with a solution."

As the two Espada dragged their Gigai and clothes out of his lab, he tried to find a solution to the money problem. Maybe the Onna could help him?

He had to think of something quick, they had to leave in an hour.

He tried to remember everything the busty healer told him about Gense, she was probably the densest women ever created. She went from one subject to another, trying to put them in the right order. Sometimes she would even talk about something completely unrelated, like animals or amusement parks.

But that didn't matter, at least she told him what she thought was important from him to know.

She told him about the world and how their economics work. Because they had to have money to live.

_How do Ningen make money in Gense?_

He rubbed his temples as he tried to come up with the solution. "Well of course, why didn't I think of it before!"

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><p><em><strong>AN:** :D And yes, Orihime is dense. Very dense._


	3. Garganta :D

_**A/N:** Chapter #3_

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><p>"I do not understand, what would make you think that we are suited for this so called 'part-time job'?" It wasn't really 'we' he meant but he meant Grimmjow. He knew he could do anything to complete a mission without any resistance. But his 'partner' on the other hand was a different case, he would probably screw up everything the second he would arrive in Gense. Another reason for Szayel to pick Ulquiorra out of everyone, he knew how to keep the blue-haired psychopath under control for as long as possible.<p>

Granz introduced the Fourth to a map, showing him five placed marked on it. Those were probably the places they would go to.

"Well, I think that actual interaction with Ningen will help to understand them better." Octava explained the stoic Espada before him, it was true. Interaction would be better then just observation, it helps one to understand. And maybe it would help the emotionless Espada to understand the indwelling Onna better, so maybe her stay wouldn't be so burdening.

"I see, then these marked places will be the places where we will attend these part-time jobs?"

"Yes, the ones which are marked red." he answered simply. Ulquiorra followed his finger as he pointed to the blue marked places, "These places are tourist-information spots, if you have any questions about your environment, those are the places to be."

The pale arrancar nodded understandingly, "Everything is clear, if I'm correct this mission takes three days?"

"That is correct."

"I've found a spot where you will get your money at the end of the day. It is marked purple," he pointed on the map, "the place you will be staying is marked black."

Ulquiorra took over the map from the Eighth. His faux boy was already dressed for him to test if he could move in it, the gigai seemed to be functioning perfectly. The grey fabric of the clothes however seemed to irritate Grimmjow's skin, but he was just nagging about having to wear such 'stupid fucking clothing' as he described it. Ulquiorra could only sigh at the thought of having working with the aggressive Espada whom hated him as much as he hated 'trash', but then again. . . _Everything_ for Aizen.

Szayel followed him with a frown plastered on his face, not exactly knowing why he was leaving the lab, they would leave in an hour and he didn't explain anything to Sexta yet. "Where are you going Ulquiorra-sama?"

"The Garganta."

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><p><em><strong>AN:** :D I totally cliffhangered you. Seriously sorry, I'm just reaallyy busy with another story, and I don't feel like writing that much for this story. In the next four day I'll prolly come up with a new chapter._


	4. Happiness

_**A/N:** Excuse me for not updating for a long time, I've been sick._

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><p>"So this is Gense," Cuatro looked at the tall buildings surrounding them as both stepped out of the Garganta, the faint sound of the crowd beneath them talking could be heard. It was only logical for them to come at day time. Since the shop they would be working at was running day time. The town known as 'Kenshimura', the place they would be staying for a while, was rather small but pretty populated.<p>

Grimmjow held his faux body tightly as they descended in a park. You would say that was a stupid thing to do, but there weren't that many people. So an excellent place to put on your gigai and not be seen right? No sooner said then done.

"Ya have the map right?"

"Yes," he pulled out the slightly crumpled map, opening it. The colored marks were still visible though, and he were able to follow it easily. He looked around for recognizable places. They were in a park he had yet to find on the map, so they could make their way further trough the small town. Maybe if they would ask people were they were?

"Were are we?" Sexta had his hand folded, leaning against a tree nonchalantly, Ulquiorra shook his head, signalling that he didn't know either. He had yet to find out were they were, and since he was probably the best at reading a map, they could be in some serious trouble if he didn't find out soon.

"You should ask one of the Ningen." he supposed, that would help.

Grimmjow almost fell when his partner said that, "The fuck, why me?"

"From the both of us, I think you're better at social activities." It was true, with the way Ulquiorra spoke it would take a normal person a few seconds to figure out what was said. Which was pretty convenient most of the time, but when you need to know something fast. . . It's not that handy. That's where Grimmjow came in, he was easier to talk to and probably more appealing. To be honest, if a pale skinny dude would come up to you and ask you something, you would walk away and pretend you never saw him.

"That's bullshit. **_You_** wanna know somethin'? _**You**_ ask'em!"

The stoic man blinked, if they would have a staring match about it. . . You_ know_ who would win it. There was a short and uncomfortable silence, until Grimmjow let out a groan, he was defeated. "Shit. . ."

He spotted a group of young girls on a bench, they looked like teenagers whom would be familiar with this place. "Hey, you!" he called out, almost all of them turned to see the blue-haired man shouting at them.

"Whaddaya want?" the shortest yelled back, her friends laughed at her. He gestured she should walk over to him, but how stupid would you be to _actually_ go and walk over to a person you don't know? Especially if he's with some other scary guy. Grimmjow sighed in annoyance, he didn't really feel like moving from the exact spot he was standing.

"I wanna ask ya somethin'."

She raised an eyebrow, "'kay, ask away." she stood up from her seat and made her way over to the two men whom were waiting for her help.

"Do ya know where we are on the map?" Ulquiorra handed the map over, her eyes wandered over it, muttering 'Matsupaku' over and over as she did so.

"Right there," the short stranger pointed, showing the Fourth quickly. He probably knew how to follow the map easily now, so her help was pretty much appreciated.

"We have to cross the road here." Ulquiorra noted, folding the map. "Aight, thanks." Sexta thanked her as she walked back slowly.

"No problemo hot stuff." she replied bluntly, earning some raised eyebrows because of her _slightly _disturbing comment. Especially because it was towards someone whom was probably more twice her age.

Grimmjow smirked, "I think I like Gense already."

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><p>As the two made their way trough the city Cuatro felt the need to ask a question he had in his head for a while. He wasn't known for his incredible social skills, and talking to Onna was very hard sometimes. And Grimmjow was the last person in all three worlds he wanted to ask something but he didn't have that much choice now did he?<p>

"Sexta," Grimmjow turned his attention to the shorter Espada, whom apparently wanted something from him.

"What?" It was then that he heard the most_ ridiculous _question someone could ever ask him.

"How do you talk to women?" he looked as serious as ever popping the question.

He chuckled, "what?"

"I asked 'how do you talk to women?', it's a thing I'm not that good at."

"Why are ya askin' me this?"

"I figured that your social skills were better then mine." he stated, which was true.

He scratched his neck while thinking of a clever reply,"Well, for one don' threaten to shove food down'r throat." that was obvious, but no one would do that under normal circumstances and Fourth that knew too.

"I don't mean it like that, I mean actually get her to tell what she **_really_** needs."

"Well, I don' know, ya should ask one of those other PMS bitches in Hueco Mundo. Like Tier's fracción."

"PMS?" Ulquiorra repeated dumbfounded, he didn't know what it meant so he didn't really know how to avoid it.

"Yeah, annoying chicks like Onna." he pointed out. "They're all the same, they should know. I don't"

"Why is it that you don't know?"

Which was followed by the only logical explanation,"Do I look like a chick to you?"

"I see. But is there any way to make the Onna let's say. . . More 'happy'?"

"Yeah, ya have ta do jus' one thing."

The Fourth listened closely to Grimmjow's advice, maybe he had the solution to the whole fucking problem. And so Onna could stop being so sad and maybe she wouldn't stare at the wall everyday and hope the white would turn into orange or something.

Grimmjow however had the exact opposite,"Jus' fuck'r. She'll stop bein' sad if ya do."

Yeah. . . That would make things so much **better.**

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Kenshimura is not a real place, it's just me being lazy on wikipedia, it says in WKPD: Prefecture (_ken_ or other equivalents), city (_shi_), and village (_mura_) and thus Kenshimura was born ;D _


	5. To work!

_**A/N: **:D _

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><p>So, they arrived at the huge red monstrosity they called a store, the neon light was bright enough to blind a person, at least that's what Grimmjow said. They entered the store, it wasn't as busy as they expected it to be. The duo walked to the front, where a short woman was seated at the counter. They could see her extraordinary long black hair hanging in front of her. With a cherry flavored lollipop in her mouth and a red Yankee cap backwards on her head she greeted them, "Wazzup?" she had a low voice for such a small woman.<p>

The Fourth figured it was some kind of greeting from the Ningen and just greeted her the same way, which made her laugh for some odd reason. "So, whaddaya want today?" she even spoke the same way as his partner, with bad grammar and smacking lips as if she chewed on a piece of gum.

"We're here for the part-time job, though I don't know what function it is you need us for." She raised a eyebrow, as she stared at the the stoic man as if he was crazy, "Wha?"

"We wanna know if we can work here?" Sexta translated quickly, she nodded with a slow 'ooh', saying she understood what he meant. Since she was having a hard time doing the job on her own, some other people working there would be better.

"Wait a min, 'kay?" she walked to the back, probably to take something. The Fourth sighed softly, these people were just thrash, like he expected. That people couldn't understand the simplest things, he would have to learn how to talk more like Grimmjow.

"Let me talk to 'em, people don't get the shit yer sayin'." he supposed. That would make things so much easier. And he knew it too. She came with a stack of papers, sighing she put them down on the counter. "Normally, I'm supposed ta follow the rules an' I'd have ta do the whole intake-shit but I don' feel like doin' tha'." The lollipop made it harder to understand what she was saying, but it seemed that Sexta was following her easy enough.

"You don't feel like following the rules?" Ulquiorra questioned, how can you 'not feel like following the rules' how is that even possible?

"Listen dude," she started, "If I were any lazier today, I'd lie right here," she knocked on the wooden counter with her flat hands "sleeping." Wow, people in Gense were lazy as hell.

"You wanna job'r what?"

"Sure, what else ta do?"

"Okay, before I give ya yer uniforms, I don't know yer names yet."

"The names Grimmjow." that's an easy way to identify yourself.

"Cifer Ulquiorra."

"Ichihara Nana. All is well now."

Without hesitation, she hired them. They had to sign some papers, which was probably the easiest part of all. Though making up a signature was harder, seein you son't even know what the fuck it is.

Then there were the work-uniforms, which were _**way** _more comfortable to wear then Szayel's self made 'pieca shit' uniforms as Sexta described them. And they looked better, more human? Well, it looked like something what a lot of Ningen were wearing. And after all was done, they had to start right away. Which was a plus, considering Gigai needed some kind of fuel to keep moving. Food, and you needed money for that. Well for the actual working, that was a little bit complicated, even for Ulquiorra. The first thing they had to do was sort out all kinds of DVDs. Which is hard to do if you don't even know what a DVD is.

The only thing that was helping here the little colored tapes on the side, saying what kind of DVD's they were and where you had to place them. It was all really easy, just place purple by purple. Green goes with green and it was as simple as that.

Untill. . .

"Where do we place these?"

Nana looked up from the game she was playing, with a squinted eyes she looked into his, feeling rather uncomfortable as she did so. As if they reflected death, or poison or something retarded like that. The short employee was distracted by the rather large green eyes she stared into, if her lollipop wasn't as huge as it was it would probably fall out of her mouth. "W-What?"

The Fourth held up a white DVD case, it was unrated and there weren't any screenshots on it. Which was normally the case.

"Oh, that's porn. It goes right there." Ulquiorra furrowed his brow slightly at the term. Nana pointed to a room behind a curtain. A plus-eighteen sign hung next to it.

"Very well."

"You have scary eyes by the way." she muttered.

Grimmjow, whom had no intention to work whatsoever, was slacking off. Apperatnly he found it appropriote to lean against the door by the entrance and harass whatever attractive girl passed by.

Well, what did you expect? He_ is_ Grimmjow.

"Do you know what porn means?" only Ulquiorra could ask a question like that and be as emotionless as ever. Then again, only a person like him wouldn't know what it is.

"W-What did'ya ask me?" Sexta couldn't believe what he was hearing, if his eyes could roll out of his faux body they probably didn't know whether to answer the question or laugh at the shorter Espada. This was gold, to have someone like_ him_ ask him a question like _that_. That's priceless, everybody knows what porn is, even the youngest do.

"I couldn't ask the girl, that would be too embarrassing." yeah, a twenty-five year old man that doesn't know what porn is would be embarrassed. Especially if you have to ask a girl what it is.

"I can' answer tha' question really, it's way to hard f'r me not ta laugh at ya."

He gave the Sixth a a typical expressionless look. "Jus' put it away."

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><p><em><strong>AN:** :D Nana is not an OC._


	6. Cliffhanger

_**A/N: **:D imma cliffhanger ya :D_

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><p>"Hey, ya okay?"<p>

Ulquiorra looked up to the worried face of the Onna they worked with. Actually, he was not okay. These gigai were built to be exactly like a human body, with the same functions, organs and needs. And an hour after they started working, his stomach was twisting and making growling sounds. He was hungry.

But Ningen didn't eat souls. . . What _did_ they eat? And what_ should_ he eat?

Grimmjow apparently didn't have the same problem, so the Fourth didn't know what to do. But she was a human. . . She probably knew how these things worked and what people would do in these situations. Maybe if he'd ask her she'd think he was stupid, but this was getting pretty painful and mighty uncomfortable to work with.

"I'm. . . Hungry."

"Oh, ya can take a break if ya wanna? There's a convenient store jus' across the street."

Well, that was the problem, "I don't have any currency."

Nana blinked, this kid wasn't making _any_ sense. Always so serious, and always so polite. Unlike his blue-headed friend, he was laid-back and crude. "Ya don' have any wha?"

"Currency." he meant money of course, but Nana wasn't as smart as most people. Well, she was really. . . dense at times. Actually her knowledge was limited on any subject, she would know unimportant stuff but the rest was always somewhere in the back of her head. And the word 'currency' was yet to be found in her vocabulary.

So there was only one option, "Oi, Jaegerjaquez!"

Not really appreciating being interrupted during break-time -which was since their beginning of their shift-, Sexta just shouted back; "What?"

"Yer friend is makin' no sense!"

He told Ulquiorra he'd do all the talking, "Comin'"

Within a matter of seconds the blue-haired Espada appeared before her eyes. Obviously angered and annoyed he looked at the short girl. whom pointed at the stoic man on his knees, sorting DVD's. He started up at the two.

"Whaddaya want Cifer?"

"I'm hungry, but I don't have any form of currency to trade for nourishment."

After a second of thinking, Grimmjow translated; "He's hungry, but he's got no money."

Well, for an incredibly thickheaded and barbarian oaf, he just showed he was pretty smart.

Nana formed an _O_ with her mouth as a sign of understanding what the stoic man was trying to say. "Well, I've got some money for ya of ya wanna borrow."

"I will return your money tomorrow."

She shook her head 'no' when he said so, "Naww, that's okay."

She walked away to get her money when he realized; they would have to pave their way trough the supermarket. Which was ten times harder then having to talking to just one Ningen. And having to talk to that girl was like a riddle, and they've only known her for a few hours. But they had to learn how to communicate with them, might as well that day?

_Everything__ for Aizen._ . .

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><p><em><strong>AN:** :D Nana is not an OC._


	7. Pave

_**A/N: **I hope you can bear with this horrible, unpopular story :D_

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><p>After about five minutes of aimlessly roaming around, Grimmjow wanted to leave already. Everywhere he got, people would turn their heads and stare at him as if he was a monster. It was very annoying, the whispering of <em>'My god, that guy has blue hair!'<em> and the high-pitched girlish laughter whenever a group of students passed by. . . Who wouldn't find that irritating? It was only natural that he wanted to leave as soon as possible, "So, ya figured somethin' out yet?" he asked the shorter Espada, whom was kneeling in front of a shelf, examining various products. Fourth shook his head as an answer to the question his partner just asked him, "No, it's really hard to find something here without a large amount of sugar."

Even though he was right, the blue-haired arrancar didn't see what the problem was with a high amount of sugar. Seeing he wasn't the one whom was hungry, he gave little to nothing about it, "So?"

"Sugar causes a lot of energy, that results into hyper-active and sometimes child-like behavior and not to mention it's unhealthy and might damage the faux body." the stoic man explained, Szayel had told him all this before they left. Their faux bodies were built to function exactly like Ningen bodies, ecxept for the emotions that humans had -because Granz had yet to find out how they worked-. Aside from that, the last thing Ulquiorra wanted to do was to damage someone else's work that was meant to serve Aizen. The pink-haired Octava had done a ot of research to complete the so called 'gigai', and Sousuke, found these faux bodies needed for their operations. And more importantly; it was something that he needed and his property. There was no actual point in telling this all to Grimmjow, but since he wanted to know, he just explained it.

"Who told you that?"

"Szayel did, after he examined Onna." it seemed that the Eight had tested how Inoue reacted to sugar he made himself somehow, and the results of that very test gave the final answer. Though the girl was always so unhappy, the sweetness made her smile somehow. Though it were just like 'uncontrollably twitching the corners of your lips' as Ulquiorra described, Szayel found out that certain food could make one happy. And that was exactly what Cifer was trying to avoid. Not that the tall psychopath cared about all of it, he wasn't really listening to be honest. The only words he could make out were 'Onna' and 'Food', and the rest was just part of another inaudible boast, "Jus' take something and let's go, I'm gettin' pretty sick of this fuckin' store." he repeated angrily.

"You should watch your tone, it's considered very rude and impolite to talk like that to your superior." it wasn't only considered, it was also making him look more like a piece of trash, if it were even possible. And besides that, Ulquiorra didn't see the point of it. but saying it wasn't really helping, knowing Grimmjow it would take tow, maybe three years or so to stop.

The Sexta was getting impatient, he took someting from the top shelve out of the blue and pushed it into the shorter man's hands. Without even talking a look the product. "Here, take a. . ." he tried to read the English writing on the brown plastic wrapper as well as he could, "Snickers? The fuck is that?" he muttered with a raised eyebrow.

"It's candy with a lot of chocolate, peanuts and caramel. This ingredient called; _chocolate_ also contains large amounts of sugar." yep that's very true, and remember, that's what we're trying to avoid here. But this was only making the Sixth angrier, _this_ is unhealthy_ that_ is unhealthy. He was beginning to think everything was unhealthy and damaging for the body, "What_ is_ healthy then?"

"Fruits and vegetables," he answered, "Szayel never really mentioned what they should look like, but I reckon there are many different types."

Well, how are you supposed to look for something when you don't even know what it looks like? That's like a fucking quest, and they weren't up for it, at least Grimmjow wasn't in for it. This whole thing itself was already taking too long, and then they would have to look for fruit and vegetables? No, that meant more communication with Ningen, confusion and probably frustration because of confusion. So for the taller Espada there was only one good option left besides going trough all that, "I'm outta here."

Just walking away. Just putting a stop to all of it.

Ulquiorra stopped him, "You can't leave, if you are hungry too, you should know what to and what not to eat." which was true, if one had to satisfy the hunger, one should know with what one's supposed to. And if he didn't know, they would sink further into the shit they were already in.

"I can ask tha' short chick later," Sexta said quickly. That's easy enough. . . not.

"You can't, you'll ruin the plan." he explained, Grimmjow sighed lazily, watching the small man comparing various products once more.

"What makes ya think so?"

". . ." Though he was silent, Grimmjow knew what he meant, but whom would ever suspect that the two men working for you are two creatures called hollows under Lord Aizen. That they eat souls, kill people with their ridiculously powerful swords in human bodies for research of the human emotions and communication ways? Well, you have to be, either retarded or just thinking in a very improbable way, "C'mon! Shorty isn't like that, she's even dumber then Onna."

"I doubt that."

"An' I don't."

Ulquiorra sighed slightly, this man was getting on his nerves quickly. "She might not be highly intelligent, but she's not dense enough to surpass Onna."

"So she's in between stupid an' kinda smart."

"That's a way to describe the situation. I can see the resemblance between the two of you in both bad behavior and horrid vocabulary." Grimmjow furrowed his brow, he didn't understand a word the shorter Espada was saying. So he called bloats again. The short man took something from the bottom shelve, he had already decided what he was going to satisfy the hunger with. He read the price as he continued insulting his partner, "She tends to talk trashy and clownishly like you do. Cutting off words and pronouncing everything quickly, like people here would say; 'like a hick'."

After a minute of thinking, "Did ya just insult me?"

"Let's leave."

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><p>The duo arrived back at the store, it was rather crowded. Kinda like the supermarket, but only worse. Here, there were some childeren you had to be careful not to crush. In Gense, kids tend to exaggerate pain and little wounds, how pathetic. The happy voice of their 'boss' sounded behind them. Not taking her eyes of the screen of the device she held in her had, she waved and greeted. "Wassap guys?"<p>

Nana seemed to be engrossed, not noticing she was waving the wrong way. Actually, waving at a shelve with action-movies on it. Since the finger-snapping wasn't really helping, the melancholic man broke the news in a monotone voice,"We're standing here." Her mouth formed an 'O' as she turned to them, still pushing on the small buttons on her phone. She gave them little to no attention, which had probably something to do with the small device she had in her hands.

"Onna, what are you doing?"

"Textin' my friends. An' don' call me Onna," she looked up with slight anger on her face, it seemed that calling her 'woman' as if she were nothing more then that was angering. Then again, anyone would be angry. She wasn't calling him 'man' now was she? "I have a name y'know, ass." Grimmjow snickered, this was probably the first time the Fourth was insulted and didn't kill the person whom did that immediately. But, meh. He deserved it anyway. That was lesson two, don't call a woman; woman if they have names. That meant he would have to start calling Inoue by her name.

He ignored her petty insult, "How does that work?" her jaw dropped, this was the first time in her life she heard someone older then four ask her how texting worked. But whatever, there's a first time for anything.

"Ehh, I take it ya never had a phone before?"

Sexta frowned, "A phone?"

"Ya from the country-side?" it remained silent, until Grimmjow coughed sarcastically o break the tension, "Nevermind, ya jus' push the buttons ta type in a word and then ya press this button," she pointed to a small black button at the right side of the small white device. This gave Ulquiorra a chance to read what she had been saying, it was a bit surprising though, "and then ya text someone."

"You just said 'fuck you' to your 'friend'." he commented, she nodded, "I know."

There was only one simple question needed, "Why?"

"'Cause this guy's an asshole." the short girl explained nonchalantly, this only triggered Cuatro's curiosity. From Onna he heard that friends are special people you keep in your heart forever, people you love and they love you. He didn't get the conception of the human heart, but he was pretty sure that cussing them out wasn't part of it. Suddenly, the frustrated groans and annoyed moans of people whom wanted to buy or rent broke her cncentration. And because she's so darn lazy, "Jaegerjaquez, could ya get that for me?"

Though Sexta didn't know how exactly, he figured giving it a try. "Sure."

Once his partner was gone, he returned to his conversation with the black-headed Ningen before him. Her brown were eyes fixated on the screen once again, he asked; "Why are you friends with him if you find him annoying?"

"Simple, 'cause he's a good fuck." well, goodbye innocence.

"I see, so you are in a relationship with this man." he leaned against the wall behind him, from the corner of his eye he could see the line becoming smaller, this mean that the blue-haired oaf was doing a good job or maybe he was scaring off the costumers. Either way, it helped.

She shook her head, "No, we jus' hang out an' when I feel like it, I call'm." which brought her to another topic somehow, "This job doesn't really suit you and yer friend, why 'r ya here?" she asked. It was kinda true, if you're the Fourth Espada in Aizen Sousuke's Arrancar army, you shouldn't be doing low-class, pointless work like this. But that wasn't her point, seeing she didn't have all that information.

"Because I understood you pay us at the end of the day." her mouth formed the 'O' again. Then she frowned, getting to another stupid topic, "So? They do the same thing in a strip club, I think you should work there. You and **_especially_** yer blue-haired friend will be a huge success.

Sure they would Nana, _sure_ they would.

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><p><em><strong>AN:** More life lessons in the next chapter, in fact the next chapter will exist of only life lessons. I think my writing has improved a bit, what do you think?_


	8. Bitches

_**A/N: **Well, if there any other people reading, please review. Kudos to Kero-Mero_

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><p>"I still don't understand." Ulqiuorra said. even if he was a very smart man, business about emotions and needs still confused him. But look at the man, you would expect it too. He lives in a castle where everybody kills, eats and fucks each other. With the with the first part he was familiar, second part he had no problem,. But the third part, he'd rather stay out of that.<p>

Yeah, he sure did appeal to them. Well, none of the women in Las Noches really appealed to him. There were a few of them, less then a few.

Sure, maybe around five.

Maybe only three.

Okay, only one.

Grimmjow stroked his chin as he tried to come up with the right words to explain the situation. "The bitches only open their legs if ya talk slick, that's what ya gotta learn." he said. If Cifer would show more emotion then just a melancholic face, he would raise a eyebrow at the statement.

"I didn't mean that, I meant that you keep referring to all females as 'bitches'. Bitches are female dogs, why do you do that?" he asked as they turned left. On their way to the mall with their well-earned money.

"Ya have four types'a women; hoes, bitches, princesses and normal women. And when I talk about my type, I talks about bitches." he said, counting to four whenever he named a type of woman.

"What does that mean?" the stone-face Epsada asked.

Grimmjow breathed in heavily, this was going to be a long one; "Hoes are real easy chicks, don't play hard to get and are everywhere. They're nasty overall. Only to fuck when there is absolutely no-one else aroun'. Bitches are chicks like Nana, they know they're bitches, like to play a lil' and are easy 'nough. You can always fuck'm. Princesses are chicks like Onna, like ta cry, want ya ta play it all lovey-dovey, wanna have the whole world, shit like tha'. Avoid those at all cause, only to fuck when you can't find a hoe or a bitch elsewhere in a five mile radius. I don't think that's possible though. That's pretty much it."

"What about 'normal women'."

"They'sa mix of princesses and bitches, but they ain't as easy as bitches. Ya have to play it slick 'nough with them, an' I don't like makin' too much effort to get her." he said as he counted the bills for the fifth time. The currency was strange but he got used to it. He tried to memorize the image of the dead people on the bills to determine how much the bill was worth. Not realizing that the value was just written on the bill.

"Strange."

He quirked and eyebrow at his shorter consort, "'The hell do you know about shit like tha'?" Just a minute ago he didn't know anything, and now he acted like he knew everything.

"I understood from the Onna that you only 'make love' to a person you love and find appealing enough. I don't think she knows much about primal urges, but we're supposed to be like human. So maybe if you do make an effort it'll be more satisfying than just 'jumping bitches' like you describe it."

Grimmjow gulped the last drops of the remaining liquid in the bottle of Pepsi he bought on the way. The green-eyed Cuatro though it wasn't such a good idea, again saying why with his previous explanation. Much to Ulqiuorra's dismay, he burped before saying the following; "I want ten grams of whatever it is you snort."

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><p><em><strong>AN: **Kudos to Giovanni, he did the whole 'bitches are my type;' monologue. I loved it._

_Remember, it''s winter time in this story, I didn't update for so long._


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: **Well, if there any other people reading, please review. I have to keep writing._

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><p>They had be walking around for a few minutes now, and since Grimmjow was already out of Pepsi, his complaining and talking became more annoying to his partner. They had yet to close off the day, and the Fourth had yet to cross off his list for Szayel. The pink-haired Espada had given him a list to cross off whenever they bought what they needed. And when the long list was finally at it's end, they could come back home. They also had to learn about humans and their emotions. The only things he knew by far were the things Grimmjow thought him. And boy were they<em> inaccurate.<em>

He did want to leave as soon as possible, the people staring was unbearable. Grimmjow enjoyed it, but meh, what's to expect from him?

"Right there," Ulquiorra pointed, the bright lights and overdose of various people walking in and out made it quite obvious that it was some kind of a store. It didn't look like a grocery store, so it had to be some kind of a clothing store. Or at least something close to that. But Grimmjow didn't care. the material of his uniform was itching and he wanted to get the fuck out of that piece shit Szayel made as soon as he could. He follow his shorter companion inside. There were several people in the same uniform and adults walking around, checking the various shelves and racks with jeans and shirts.

"Now this is what I'm talkin' bout. Grimmjow exclaimed. He caught the attention of one of the 'store-people' that walked by him. He turned to her, her pudgy arms looked like they ere about to rip out of the long sleeves her blue sweater, and the black buttons on the crimson-colored vest she wore seemed to be under a lot of pressure. She felt a set of eyes on her and turned to him, her frown deep, her mouth upside down and her stance as static as concrete.

"Can I 'elp you sir?" she asked sarcastically as she walked back to them. The Fourth stood still as he watched the plus-sized woman observe them, she did not look happy. But the melancholic man didn't care. He wanted to get out of the hospital scrub-like uniforms too. And if the fat lady was their only option to get out of the hellhole as fast as he could?

Then so be it.

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><p><em>Believe me, I know it's fucking too short to even pass as a paragraph. But I wanted you to know I was alive.<em>


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